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(And What You Can Do To Fix It)Ever notice that once you are in a relationship for awhile the juiciness wanes a bit? Maybe you’re not as wet as you were when you first met. Maybe you just aren’t having the sex you once did when everything was new. The butterflies in your stomach aren’t quite as active, anticipation has faded, maybe the excitement that once was is no longer.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s likely that all of those feelings, sensations and emotions have been replaced with comfort, stability and ease. Trust builds over time. Which definitely has its own yumminess.
But here you are 1 or 10 years later wondering why your vagina is dry? Are you just not turned on by him anymore? Is it his fault? Is it yours?
Whoa. Slow down girl. Let’s talk about some of the real possibilities.
Here are 7 Reasons Your Vagina Is Dry After One Year Of Being In A Relationship

1. Lack of Arousal: Okay, it’s true, arousal often brings wetness. Maybe you aren’t spending enough time focusing on what it is that turns you on about him. Remember when you first met, the little things that turned you on? Maybe it was the curve of his neck, the shape of his lips or the way he looked at you. Try milking those remembrances.
2. Lack of Foreplay: Sometimes we get so busy, we think we don’t have time for foreplay. Or we want to have sex, but we don’t want to spend much time at it. So the dance of foreplay is lost. Remember when just thinking about him, and the anticipation of things to come made you wet? Remember when kissing him, smelling him and the feel of his skin sent you over the moon? Maybe it’s time to bring some of that back!
3. Stress: Whether it’s your own emotions about family, work or kids, or relationship issues with your beloved, stress is no fun. And it can be reason for your body not responding in the way that you’d like your body to respond. Stress is nothing to laugh about, and it’s certainly not something to sweep under the rug. Finding help, either a therapist or coach helps. Meditating, slowing down, and recognizing all the good in your life helps too. Do something about your stress, and you may find that dry vagina balancing it’s own self out.
4. Hormonal shifts: In the last year did you change your contraceptive, get pregnant or move into menopause? Women are our hormones. We just can’t get around it. We are run by our hormones. And those hormones shift and change over time, and depending on a whole variety of factors those shifts can affect our natural lubrication. Sometimes we need to just ride it out. Sometimes we need a good lube. (Yes, I developed Yoni Bliss for this reason, as well as to help your body balance itself out again.) Sometimes we need to look at herbal supplementation or medication. Do what feels right for you.
5. Health Changes: The body becomes dis-eased for many different reasons. But those changes can make a difference in all areas of our lives including our body’s response during sex.It may make no sense that it means you aren’t as lubricated as you’d like. But our bodies are complicated and it’s amazing that it works in such an incredibly intricate way. Getting help for those changes always seems prudent to me.Although I’m a proponent of receiving help in a way that feels life giving for you.
6. Lifestyle Changes: Has your new relationship brought on lifestyle changes for you? Some lifestyle changes are good. Maybe we are working out more, or watching what we eat. But sometimes we get into changes that aren’t so good for our vajayjays. Maybe we are drinking more alcohol, or smoking more, or not getting enough water. You might be thinking you are having fun, but your body is rebelling. Assess and see if there are changes you want to make that would make you and your yoni (sanskrit for vagina) feel better.
7. Cleaning too much: Our vaginas are designed to be self cleaning. But sometimes, due to our desire to smell good, or be desirable for our mate we may get into an internal cleaning or douching regime. All I can say to this one is STOP IT! Your vagina doesn’t need any help in this department unless it is under stress with bacterial or yeast infection. But under normal circumstances there really is nothing that needs to be done. Really. Yes, of course, shower or bathe. Use a mild soap on your perineum, and go no further. 

So there you have it. If your relationship feels good. If it’s making you happy in oh so many ways, there may be nothing to fret about if your vagina is dry now and then. But if you are concerned, these suggestions may help you on your way to solving the problem.

September 4th was World Sexual Health Day. 
I am a little behind with this post. But let's talk about sexual health anyway!
What is sexual health? The World Health Organization describes it like this:
Sexual health is a state of physical, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality. It requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.
 
So good, right?
Wellbeing. Being well in my physical body, my mental body and in my community or socially. Sexually well. What a concept. And when we look at that world wide, we have a ways to go. Violence is real. Coercion is real. Rape is real. Genital mutilation is real. It can be rather depressing to think about. But I want to bring it closer to home. Change starts with you and me, and if we can focus on our own sexual health my knowing is that it ripples out into the world. So what about you?
 
Yes you!!
 
What is your sexual health like? Let me ask you a few questions and you can assess.

1. What's your relationship like with your body?  Do you love it or hate it? Do you love parts of it and hate other parts of it? Or do you ignore it all together? I think most men and women struggle to some extent with their bodies. Societal programming about what a beautiful body, a desirable body should look like is ever present, even as it changes from generation to generation. Family expectations too run rampant. What if you don't look like anyone in your family? Judgments abound.  It's hard to have sexual health when we judge our stomachs, our breasts, our legs. And how intimate are you with your own vulva? Have you looked at it, appreciated its beauty?  Woah! Have I gone too far?
2. Do you enjoy your own sexualness? Face it, we are sexual beings. From the moment we are born we are sexual beings. Our bodies are designed for pleasure. Our senses are potent. Tasting, feeling, seeing, hearing and smelling. Yes, these senses help to protect us, but they also please us.  Being sexual doesn't necessitate copulation or any other touch from another. It doesn't necessitate touch from ourselves to ourselves. But you have a body. My interesting point of view is that it was meant to be enjoyed.
3.  What are your relationships like? The kind of relationships that you have with others are probably the most indicative of the relationship you have with yourself. Feeling unheard, abused or maligned? What are the ways in which you are not listening to you? Are you ignoring that small voice inside? Do you have symptoms in your body that are talking to you and which you are not hearing? Do you bad mouth yourself? Sometimes we are our own worst enemy, and if you actually listen to your self talk, you might make sense of what we hear in our external world.
4. Are you safe in your sexual relationships, or do you hold trauma in your body?  1 in 5 girls are victims of childhood sexual trauma. If you haven't been sexually traumatized, you likely know someone who has been. And if you weren't sexually traumatized, it doesn't mean that you weren't traumatized in some other way. That trauma can get in the way of your relationships and your sexual relationships. Opening up to someone sexually requires trust. And we need to trust ourselves to know what we know most of all. How often have you cut off your awareness for that connection with another? And are there traumas that you aren't even aware of that may be inviting healing today?
5. Do you recognize your potency? We are potent beings. Our bodies possess the capacity to heal. Our wombs create and grow new life. This potency attracts many experiences to us. It attracts our partners, our friends, our sexual experiences. If you were more aware of this potency, what might you choose? Me, I think I choose more fun, more playfulness, more connection, more pleasure . . . more sex. Because, bottom line, sexual health also means being willing to be sexual in whatever way that we choose throughout life.

How'd you do? How do you want to do?I am an advocate taking all health into your own hands. Our bodies are amazing. Our sexuality and sexualness are amazing. Take your body as a whole. Take your life as a whole. Don't segment it. What if you chose for you? What if you took care of you? My belief is that sexual health ripples out from there.